Bad Neighbors Are Worse Than Headaches

Having bad neighbors is a nightmare that no one would want to come true. With the proliferation of condominiums and cohabitation systems, the problems between neighbors began to grow. This is a matter not to be taken lightly: in some extreme cases it has even gone as far as murder.

There are situations in which a real struggle breaks out without quarter. The reasons for the conflict can be many: a wall that is too damp, the loud volume of the music, a pet that annoys … the slightest nonsense can lead to a confrontation that no one knows how it could end.

Incidents of harassment between neighbors have become so frequent that psychology has coined the term “blocking” for them, with the meaning similar to that of bullying or mobbing. In other words, violence, visceral intolerance towards the neighbor.

Conflicts between neighbors

The underlying reason for a conflict between neighbors can turn out to be nonsense; what follows, however, is not to be taken lightly. It is easy for the people involved to get involved in a power struggle: each believes he has the right to impose his own criterion on the other. There is not the slightest intention of negotiating, the only thing that matters is to have won.

In many communities or condominiums, an atmosphere of intrigue and conspiracy prevails. Nuclei are formed which act as small bands. The chatter, gossip and rumors of the neighborhood swarm: “Dude orders alcohol at home every day… I don’t want to imagine who he is”; “Gaius comes home with a different woman every night” … It would seem that the mere fact of sharing a housing complex gives some people the right to poke their nose into other people’s affairs.

It is a short step from gossip to conflict. It is not uncommon for neighbors who do not get along with each other end up accusing each other of damage, theft and so on. The first feeling that peeks out in these cases is distrust, suspicion. The idea of ​​the neighbor seen as a person between a companion and a friend, from whom solidarity can be expected in any case, is far from it. It is also far from the idea that a conflict can be resolved between neighbors without declaring open war.

Bad neighbors: privacy and common spaces

Almost no one is given to choose their neighbors. They come and go as a matter of chance. It is true that they often have many things in common – if they live in the same building they belong to the same social class and certainly have similar habits. However, some people are not content with watching others from a distance. They want to meddle at all costs in their life and tell them how it should be lived. Others, on the other hand, simply do not accept that their neighbors live as they live.

If someone listens to blaring music when the clock strikes 2 am, it is natural for the neighbors to get annoyed. What is not normal is that they do not tolerate a person driving a nail to hang a picture, in broad daylight and in their apartment. There is no way to do this with the silencer, and while it may be annoying, it is not so bad as to want to declare war. Nor is it normal for an owner’s carelessness to end with a poisoned animal or the systematic disposal of residues in his front door.

Incredible as it may seem, things like this happen every day in complexes where walls separate one apartment from another. It is no longer like it used to be, when everyone lived in their own home and annoying others was more difficult. It’s not uncommon now for an argument in one’s bedroom to have spectators on the other side of the wall. The line that distinguishes private life from public life is no longer clear and delineated.

We feel that our home is more and more easily invaded by the eye of others, by his ear, by his actions. All this exasperates. After all, anyone would like to have the opportunity to do what they want in their own home, without being judged for this. It’s more difficult nowadays, and often just impossible.

Certainly this situation gives rise to conflicts which in turn give rise to conflicts. However, before the situation turns to real hell, the best thing to do is to engage in a sincere and mature dialogue, often the only way to prevent a disagreement. In any case, before declaring war or moving house, it is always worth trying.