In recent years we have seen numerous attacks.
The people, regardless of ideologies, have suffered losses and felt the wounds as their own; There have been demonstrations of rejection and indignation.
Among all the messages that have had followers in demonstrations and social networks, one in particular caught my attention. Not very original, very recurring and no less interesting. It is about what he says we are not afraid.
Now, the question is: wasn’t fear really printed on the faces of the inhabitants and tourists?
Yes, I’m afraid
Probably this innocent statement encompasses all that we still have to understand about emotions.
Emotional intelligence is in vogue, invading bookshelves and article titles, but it is still a long way from being part of our conversations which are ultimately a daily manifestation of what we think and feel.
Let’s talk about fear, because I have it. And my grandmother has it too, when she tells me not to dare to set foot there
. Prudence, caution, fear. Fear of it happening again: by coincidence, because it is inevitable, by chance, because we have forgotten after seeing only excerpt images and we have not heard the sirens or because we have looked for a desperate way out of that trap, a place of quiet walks that was adorned with roses only moments before.
We don’t want to acknowledge the fear of panic that comes with showing ourselves vulnerable: because as children we were taught that showing vulnerability is a sign of weakness. Thus, it makes us panic to feel that we are vulnerable, to acknowledge it with our conscious inner dialogue. Thus, we tiptoe over fear and deny it two, three times. Because three is the perfect number and it keeps the devil away. Or not?
What happens when we deny fear?
What are the consequences of denying an emotion, in this case fear?
First of all,
the energy of this emotion dissipates or catalyzes into other emotions that we recognize
, such as anger or anger.
When the energy of the emotions that make up this pole increases, our control over them becomes much weaker, causing senseless acts of revenge against those we suppose share characteristics with terrorists. In this case, the most obvious feature is religion.
And what happens if we blame the followers of an entire religion?
Well, for example, the work is facilitated for those who dedicate themselves to procuring proselytes to carry out barbarism: in short, the almost immediate consequence is that the number of people willing to earn paradise at the cost of their own lives multiplies. “Hates them”.
From another point of view,
we must think that when we ignore fear, we hide our courage.
A courage that, at the very least, deserves to be noticed by those who are courageous and show it: fear allows us to recognize the efforts and merits of the citizens who the next day took to the streets to tell the terrorists that we will not hide. And it also allows us to understand who hasn’t.
Recognizing fear also facilitates the understanding of our inner dimension
or the typical symptomatology of anxiety that we can accuse. By denying it, however, we lose this possibility and run the risk of incurring dissociation.
The fear that can result from an attack is initially very adaptive.
He tells us “Warning!”, “Something is happening!”, “Caution!”. Recognizing this fear also allows us to be empathetic or to add to other people who feel it. In this way we also prevent them from feeling strange, weak, when the emotion acts coherently with what has happened … While instead, perhaps, inconsistent are those who try to deny what they feel.
I tell my grandmother that I understand her fear, and that I too. Not to worry, that I will pay attention … And she calms down, because she knows that I will behave consistently with what we both feel: an emotion that gives us the opportunity to be brave.
