Instrumental Empathy Underlying Manipulation

Instrumental empathy is that dimension often typical of the psychopathic or narcissistic person. Unlike what one might think, these profiles read our emotions and identify with them. Once this is done, however, they use that connection to manipulate us, to draw us to them and to achieve their goal, without feeling any remorse.

In the social fabric, empathy represents how positive and desirable. Let’s forget, however, the downside, less glittering and complex, of this dimension. We often repeat to ourselves that people who are capable of hurting others, physically and psychologically, lack empathy.

Nonetheless, a study published in the journal Brain , conducted by doctors Harma Meffert and Valeria Gazzola, highlights an aspect that is important to take into consideration. The mirror neuron system, which offers us the ability to synchronize with the emotions of others, is also active in psychopaths who have committed criminal acts. 

In these profiles the connection with others is brief, episodic and oriented towards specific objectives. They do not therefore seem devoid of empathy, yet they do not have a real concern towards those who suffer, since they rarely come and identify with the emotions of others. The clear desire to exploit others seems to take shape in them .

Instrumental empathy: I feel your pain, but I don’t care

In the field of cognitive neuroscience, several discoveries have been made regarding the understanding of human behavior. Among these, empathy takes shape in different areas of our brain. Therefore, different skills are needed to get in touch with the realities of others, to know what the other feels, what he can think and what we might feel in his place.

Experts on the subject, such as Dr. Frans de Waal, a well-known primatologist, point out that sometimes these mechanisms can present themselves differently, vary from person to person. This means that some individuals (including primates) perceive the emotional reality of their fellowmen and are motivated to take action to help them.

Other people, on the other hand, recognize the emotions of others, but still choose not to do anything. They don’t feel that need, that motivation to action.

Then there is a third way, the one on which instrumental empathy is based. We refer to those individuals who are aware of the emotions of others and who use them to their own advantage. They manipulate and hurt without remorse or an examination of conscience.

Characteristics of instrumental empathy

People who resort to instrumental empathy are often as charming as they are ambiguous, leading us to think that they are really worried about us. They convince us of the authenticity of that sentiment and that their behaviors are noble. Still, they have a very specific purpose.

As anticipated, these traits are common among psychopaths and even narcissists, but also people with ulterior motives and selfishness. These individuals have empathy, i.e. they understand what others feel by observing their behaviors, expressions, tone of voice, etc.

They understand, but they don’t go to the bottom, they never reach affective empathy, that dimension in which one “feels” on their own skin what the other is feeling.

Christian Keysers, of the University of Groningen, tells us that people with a psychopathic profile feel emotions, yet their empathy seems to be equipped with a sort of “switch”. This means that it is a process that turns on and off.

When it reveals itself, it does so for a brief moment, on a given occasion and for a purpose. These personalities obtain precise information from us to know our weaknesses and to be able to exploit them to manipulate us.

How to deal with a person whose empathy is not emotional?

Instrumental empathy is not comparable to emotional empathy. There is no deep connection, the person does not put himself in our shoes and has no desire to help us. In the short and long term, it also harms us, makes us vulnerable. The question arises spontaneously how to behave in these cases.

According to a study conducted in 2011 and published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology , it is shown that individuals with a narcissistic profile know that others do not have a good opinion of them, that they do not inspire trust. However, this does not bother them nor is it a valid reason to cause changes in them.

It is therefore a question of personalities in which we recognize the absence of authentic emotional contact, but also a disinterest in the possible damage they cause and in the negative opinion towards them.

Figures with high pathological levels, in which many other mental disorders often occur. Therefore, they rarely turn to a professional or accept help to implement a change.

Randall Selekin, of the University of Alabama, is an expert on psychopathic personalities and is currently conducting “mental reshaping” programs to work on these aspects. The aim is very ambitious: to reactivate the emotional empath in these individuals.

For our part, if we believe that a person close to us makes use of instrumental empathy, we must distance ourselves. A barrier to personal safety.