7 Reasons Why It’s Hard To Have Friends
Having friends in adulthood can be tricky for many people. The first step is to understand the new “rules” to apply to friendships that date back to childhood and adolescence. The next step, however, is to understand the reasons why it is difficult to make new friends.
Effort is needed to maintain friendships over time. Even just meeting new people can be complicated over the years. Acquaintances are one thing, “friendships” are another, and friends are another.
Making friends in adulthood is much more difficult than in adolescence. Furthermore, many relationships that we considered friendships end and make us understand that they really weren’t. Many people, once they become adults, realize that they have no friends, even though they wish to have them.
Friendship: reasons that make it a difficult relationship
People who realize they don’t have many friends need to take into account the possible reasons behind this reality. First, remember that the rules change over the years. People evolve, create their own lives in relation to work and family, and go through distinct experiences. All of this affects the relationships they will establish with others.
Furthermore, when we are children or adolescents, we follow a series of behaviors dictated by our surrounding environment, doing what we believe we should do. Over time, however, we see things with distinct eyes and no longer accept certain situations that we previously thought were right.
There are several attitudes and issues that make it difficult to make friends and maintain friendly relationships that can be considered as such; they are particularly related to the character and way of being of each individual. Ask yourself the following questions to find out why you find it so difficult to make friends.
Do you complain often?
Are you people who constantly complain about work, lack of money or how unfair life is? Nobody likes to waste time in the company of negative and pessimistic subjects. Try to adopt a more positive attitude and discuss interesting topics, stop talking only and only about your problems or how unfair the world is.
Are you selfish?
Friendship means giving and receiving. Sometimes it is necessary to give more than you receive. This means listening, giving and sharing, from a material and spiritual point of view. If your goal is just to receive, however, the scales go out of balance. Know that selfishness is an attitude and that no one will want your friendship if you act only by thinking of yourself.
Do you worry about others?
If you don’t care what happens to the people around you, it is difficult for you to be able to establish and maintain any kind of friendship. If you want to make friends, you need to start showing pure interest in others.
Do you dramatize? Do you cause problems?
If you are a problematic person who over-dramatizes everything, others will not only not care about what is happening to you, but they will turn away from you. If you like to engage in certain behaviors to irritate others, if you don’t know how to keep a secret, a criticism, or if you always try to put the blame on others, it is difficult for people to have the desire to establish any kind of relationship with you.
Do you continually remember how many times you have been hurt?
Friendship is a relationship that involves forgiveness. If you are a person who continually calculates the injuries and prejudices of others, imply that you feel the center of the world and that you think that everything revolves around you. Thus, you cannot initiate or maintain any kind of relationship, much less if it is about friendship.
Are you gossipers?
A gossipy person conveys a bad self-image. It might be funny at first, but when you hear someone speak ill of others, tell their personal facts or laugh at their faults and problems, you can’t help but think: will they talk about me too?
Do you always want to lead? Do you listen to others? Do you respect the limits?
Always wanting to lead will not help you make friends. It is one thing to have initiative and another, very different, to always want to decide everything or tell others how they should act.
Making friends, listening to others and respecting limits are always good ideas. Being smart, disrespectful, and acting as if everyone has to act according to your decisions is not suitable if you want to establish healthy relationships.
