I Like People Who Look For Me For No Reason

In our life cycle, we accumulate different types of social relationships. Long-standing friendships that never end, passing work colleagues, casual encounters that become more precious than the family itself, etc.

It can be said that our daily life is composed of a complex kaleidoscope in which emotions and feelings can be various, different and even contradict each other.

However, the aspect of people we value most is authenticity. Because humble people emanate simplicity and shine with integrity, they know no blackmail or double ends.

Try to reflect on this simple question: How many authentic people are in your life? Don’t just think about your friendships, focus on your family members too.

Probably, the total number of these people can be counted on the fingers of one hand. They are the pillars of your daily life, the axes around which your soul and heart rotate, the points of reference that never fail; you know that with them you can be yourself, without fear of being judged or pointed at.

Today we will talk about the people who look for us every day, for no reason, simply because yes, because we exist, because we are.

Friends, partner, family… Important people who remain in your life without being forced, do not represent a burden and are not suffocating. They simply share their life with us and enrich us.

The kind of people we include in our lives

It is said that we come to this world as if we had fallen from a fireplace. No one is given the opportunity to choose the family or the type of education they will receive. It is not possible to change one’s family, but there comes a time when one can decide how to relate to it.

Blood makes us relatives, but, often, family members make us feel prisoners with their chains, those ropes that block our personal growth.

The same cannot be said for what happens next, when we leave the first contact with the family sphere and enter the complex field of social and affective relationships. What kind of people do we include in our lives?

You will know various personalities, some will match your preferences, will be part of the atlas of your affections, will turn in the wheel of your emotions, but …

How to know which people are best suited to give you authentic happiness?

The value of reciprocity

It’s not about the “I give you this, so you have to give me that” logic. There is nothing material: we are talking about an emotional reciprocity and a particular compatibility, in which there is no blackmail, nor the need for a person to fill gaps or personal problems.

• “Reciprocity is knowing that what I invest, you invest too. If I offer you my support, my emotional openness and my confidence, I expect the same from you. “
• If there is a difference in height, since one of the parties makes all the efforts obtaining only deficiencies, the relationship stops being “aware”, because one of the two does not act as a mature person.
• Reciprocity is also based on recognition. ” I recognize you as an important person in my life and I expect it to be for you”.

Authenticity

Authentic people are said to be few, because most people are busy showing something of themselves that isn’t real.

Authentic people exist and they know how to show themselves to you for what they are. They accept their qualities and recognize their flaws, they don’t need to hide behind anything, not even an apology.

Genuine people practice sincerity, a kind of sincerity that helps and comforts and that never tries to attack or judge the acts or words of others.

• Often, in the family, the technique of accusation and sanctions is used through phrases such as ” I knew you would not do it “, ” I tell you for your own good, you are not made for this path “.
• Authentic, humble and sincere people do not judge easily, nor do they punish, because they have good self-knowledge and empathy.

Be a person who deserves to be sought

We don’t have to make the mistake of depending on others to be happy, to complete the other half of our sofa, or to have someone to let off steam with everyday worries.

Just as we seek authenticity in our social relationships, we must in turn practice the behavior we seek in others.

• Do you want to have trusted people next to you? Show that you can be trusted.
• Do you want to have people who understand you next to you? Learn to listen and put yourself in the other’s shoes.
• Do you want to have happy people next to you? Work on your happiness and learn to offer it.

If at this time in your life you live in a social context made up of people who seek you only for personal gain or who suffocate you, think about what you should do to feel better.

Remember: people don’t change; if they disappoint you, it is because, in reality, they were never what you thought they were.

Image courtesy of Karin Taylor, Nina de San