If You Let Fear Control You, You Cannot Be Happy

Although we spend a lot of time fantasizing about how to be happier, we rarely make the changes necessary to succeed. Underlying this is a powerful factor: fear. What if what we do does not help us to be happier or, even worse, ruins what we have now?

The fear of being disappointed, of changing, of losing what we have, however small it is, works as a barrier that not only takes us away from the possibility of being happier, but also creates a strong feeling of frustration that worsens the current situation. Ironic, don’t you think?

Overcome the fear that blocks you

Many people create routines that, while making them feel miserable, give them enough confidence to think that even if their life isn’t entirely satisfying, at least they control it. Therefore, they pass off as laziness or comfort what is, in reality, panic and complain about life as if they have no control over it. However, this is not the case.

This false feeling of security brings back the fear of really doing what we know we need to do to get better and be happier. The fear of not succeeding or that the feeling is not the one hoped for or the “certainty” that happiness is nothing but illusion holds us back.

Fear leads to inaction, conforming to thinking about what we could do, what we could achieve and do. However, thinking without doing only makes us feel more miserable.

Steps to overcome the fear that prevents us from being happier

To have a better life, it is necessary to overcome the fear that blocks us, to abandon the frustration and to have a little more faith in us. We have the potential to be happier, but we have to overcome the limits we set ourselves. Like? Let’s see it below:

1 – Define what happiness means to you

We are continually receiving messages about the concept of happiness and how to achieve it. These messages, in general, are contradictory and respond to a multitude of criteria, many times arising from consumerism, marketing and advertising or ways of seeing life.

However,  what is happiness? It is a concept that everyone must define on the basis of self-knowledge, of their values. In reality, many times the fear of being happy is the fear of leaving the models imposed by the environment around us and by society.

If you are feeling imprisoned, you will have to think about whether the happiness you are looking for is really what you want or if it is just what you think you want. If you clarify your goals for happiness, you will see that it is easier to identify the steps required to achieve it.

2 – Convince yourself that you deserve to be happy

You did not come into the world to suffer. You deserve to be happy, but saying you deserve happiness is one thing, believing it is another. Perhaps your childhood experiences or memories of previous relationships have made you think that it is difficult to be happy, that you do not deserve it.

The lack of self-esteem that can result from traumatic or negative experiences can hinder us in achieving our dreams. However, the past is gone. There are numerous opportunities before you. The fear of reliving such experiences should not paralyze you, but give you energy. Ultimately, having suffered in the past will help you enjoy and savor every little detail more.

3 – Make your happiness a priority

We are often willing to put the needs of others ahead of our own, leaving our happiness on hold. However, to enjoy the energy needed to care for others, we need to make our own happiness a priority.

For this reason, we need to find ways to create greater balance to focus on our goals, as well as set healthy boundaries with respect to those around you. If someone criticizes you or tries to make you feel bad for thinking about yourself, don’t worry or feel guilty. Only those who love themselves are capable of loving others as well.

4 – Prepare and plan the way

The fear of getting stuck along the way is normal and natural, especially when you have no route or knowledge. To be on the safe side, prepare the way, plan and analyze. In this way, you will put aside a portion of doubt and at the same time strengthen the goal.

Think about what obstacles there are or may arise, how you can deal with them and how to handle the problems. Also, don’t forget that every change requires a sacrifice. Think about the advantages of giving up certain things or certain habits and think about how to deal with the difficulties born of giving up.

5 – Believe in yourself

Many times, contemplating change, we are paralyzed by the idea of ​​not being able to do everything necessary.  The idea of ​​not being successful, which comes from our inner critic, makes us go back to where we started.

It doesn’t matter, it’s normal. When it comes to making important decisions, we all have fear and doubt.  It is time to respond with confidence. If you are determined to achieve something, you have already taken many steps forward. Remember: you have to give up something to advance. Giving up your fears is part of the plan.