Being And Feeling Unfaithful: Guilt And Frustration

Feeling unfaithful can trigger different responses in a person, but, above all, the birth of feelings such as guilt and frustration. What common characteristics or feelings arise in the case of infidelity?

Men and women in infidelity

According to numerous studies, men and women, in addition to having common characteristics when they commit are unfaithful, also have some differences, especially as regards the way they feel.

For men, an act of infidelity is often accompanied by a sense of guilt. For religious people, guilt acquires a very important nuance, since it is sin. However, for other people, guilt is related to the social judgment they receive for their actions or behavior.

The fear of losing one’s job due to infidelity also gives rise to a sense of guilt, and the same feeling is awakened even by dedicating time and financial resources to a lover. For men, maintaining an infidelity relationship costs time and money, as well as draining their peace of mind.

In women, however, the reactions are very different. Usually, the woman sees infidelity as a love affair in which to find only a few moments of pleasure. She feels like she has been reborn, as she feels wanted and loved. When they are in an extramarital affair, women go through a series of exercises and rituals to feel more beautiful and attractive, going to the gym, hairdresser, beauty salons and even love to buy new clothes and try never to wear the same outfit twice. . It is as if they begin to re-evaluate their self-esteem because of the game of seduction in which they find themselves involved, even if the other has a partner.

Guilt and frustration

Little by little, however, for both men and women,  the feeling of guilt is intrinsically accompanied by some doses of anxiety and stress, which represent two other characteristics of the personality of an infidel.

Over time, it is possible for men to manage anxiety adequately when they think they have the situation under control; vice versa, the signs of anxiety in women are the indicators that most unmask them. However, to anxiety we can also add worry about the fear of being discovered, the fear of having children or jealousy arising, etc.

In addition to guilt, another very common feeling during infidelity is frustration. The frustration of not being able to scream to the whole world that you are in love with that man or that woman. Even the frustration of not being able to do everything you want in those moments, like going to the cinema, going to a restaurant for dinner, going for a walk or going on a trip. It is true that many do the same, but always with the fear of being recognized or discovered. This situation implies a life in the shadows and waiting for the lover to break the formal bond with their partner.

It is possible that unfaithful people think that relationships with lovers are the “perfect” relationships, as love is reflected on all levels of the relationship and one must not tolerate illnesses, responsibilities, bad mood, life together , etc. On the other hand, infidelity implies consequences such as separation, divorce or a loss of self-confidence that is difficult to recover, which worsens the quality of the couple’s relationship.

For this reason, it is important to be aware of what you are doing and to think about the repercussions it could have, not only on ourselves, but also on the people around us and then try to make the right decision.