I Learned That Being With Who I Like Is Enough

“I have learned that being with whom I like is enough,” Walt Whitman wisely wrote, and his words serve us today to introduce the importance of what is commonly referred to as “ being at ease .”

Let’s try to think about how we feel when in a moment of celebration we are surrounded by people who love us; let’s think about the difference between being comfortable in the workplace and getting along with your colleagues and the opposite.

Hundreds of situations could be cited to explain the importance of knowing how to appreciate what you have, of becoming aware of the fact that happiness consists of the set of reasons that lead us to want to stay in a certain place, together with certain people.

Disappointment is a matter of expectations

It is normal (and common) to feel disappointed every now and then.  The opposite could hardly happen, since we cannot expect reality to always satisfy our every single expectation.

Imagine that you have taken the task of organizing a party for someone special and that you have put all your enthusiasm into it. Yet every time that person arrives, he does nothing but criticize your preparations because “this was not how I imagined it.”

This person’s attitude is decidedly unfair and emotionally unintelligent, as they are unable to appreciate what really matters, which is to have someone who loves them by their side – an aspect that is rewarding for everyone.

With this example, we want to explain that when we enter the “automatic protest” mode, complaining about every trifle that does not meet our expectations, in reality we are:

• Creating an unreal world, not an ideal one.
• Downplaying the most important aspect of an event.
• Ignoring what really matters.

Often it is the circumstances themselves that make us return to reality, showing us that if we are not comfortable, it is only because we cannot accept that something can be beautiful just the way it is.

Knowing how to accept one’s emotions and reality

A world painted totally pink does NOT exist. It is important to accept that feelings of sadness, fear or anger are not bad, rather they serve as a stimulus to learn. Often, in fact, it happens to be sad and at ease at the same time.

How is it possible to feel good if you feel an unpleasant emotion? The secret lies in the ability to tune into what is needed at that moment; for this reason, it is important not to be deceived by those who try to show us the world as a pink ideal.

We are not machines and not everything in life can always be positive. Becoming aware of this will help us to welcome the set of problems that sometimes jeopardize our calm. Well-being is not achieved only through happiness, but also by accepting things for what they are, seeking what is positive for oneself and trying to find one’s place in the world.

Ultimately, as has already been said, in order to be at ease, one must assume an attitude of acceptance and approval. After all, to live life fully, you need to know how to appreciate beauty, despite the fact that events can sometimes be negative.

To conclude, we leave you with a fragment of a Borges poem that we have already given space to previously, “With time”.

Over time you realize that even if you are happy with friends, one day you will cry for those you let go.

Over time you realize that the whole experience with each person is unrepeatable.

Over time you realize that someone who humiliates or despises a human being, sooner or later, will suffer the same humiliations or squared contempt.

Over time you learn to build all paths on today, because tomorrow’s terrain is too uncertain to make plans.

Over time you realize that putting pressure on things or forcing them to happen will ultimately not lead to what you hoped for.

Over time you realize that in reality the best was not the future, but the moment you were living right now.

Over time you will see that even if you are happy with those around you, you will miss terribly those who were with you yesterday and are now gone.

Over time you will learn that trying to forgive or ask for forgiveness, saying you love, want, need, say you want to be a friend  in front of a grave  no longer makes sense.

But, unfortunately, only with time …