May Insecurity Not Take Over Your Life!
The worst enemy of hope is not facts, but the minds of men who are not confronted with them
Max Eastman
There are many people who live with the fear of rejection, a constant element in their thoughts to the point of forcing them to live their lives without pursuing and realizing their dreams or goals.
These are not lazy or untalented individuals, but people with a tendency to develop a debilitating fear that prevents them from stepping out of their comfort zone. Although they feel the lack of an element of risk in their life, they visualize so many dangers around them that this does not allow them to throw themselves into what is “good to know”.
They rarely try anything new, they just do what they have always done and they try hard not to do anything that involves the risk of failing (which happens very often in everyone’s life). They hate routine, but they love it at the same time. They watch adventure films, but plan their holidays down to the millimeter, always in known places. We are not talking about a conscious or declared attitude, yet it manifests itself through phrases such as:
“That would be too much.”
“At this moment I could not possibly add anything else.”
“I have not enough time.”
“I’m not that kind of person.”
These are, as a rule, the answers to a series of ideas or possibilities that deviate from what is habitual: embarking on a journey to a new or distant place, starting to study again, trying a new pastime, joining a group or a club, attending a social event, learning a new skill, meeting new people, improving your diet or physical activity …
Although those who express themselves in this way are not identified as anxious, this uncomfortable appellation generally accompanies them like a shadow. They organize their lives in an extremely rigid way, leaving very little room for spontaneity or new activities. They fear everything new and different and, above all, any business where success is not guaranteed.
People with this level of insecurity are unemployed or underemployed, and although they say they always have a lot to do, in reality those who observe them from the outside have the impression that they do not do much. They usually feel, to a greater or lesser extent, that their lives are only a fraction of what they might come to be or that they are not satisfying, yet they reject any change at the same time. The most used excuses are the following:
“I can’t change jobs because nowhere else would I be as comfortable as in this one”
“I don’t like my job, but what if I leave it and then can’t find another one?
“I can’t move because of my back.”
“I can’t do anything if I don’t sleep eight hours.”
“I don’t get along well with most people.”
“Internet dating scare me.”
“It’s too cold (or hot) to do that.”
“I’m just not a (racer, biker, dancer, party member, reader, student …).”
Why give risk a chance?
There is only one life and, most likely, when you look back in a few years, you will feel much more strongly all those things that you have not done, rather than the situations in which you have dared a little more.
When you feel like doing something that causes your stomach to tingle and at the same time sends you signals of fear, ask yourself:
“What’s the worst that could happen?”
There are very few facts of life that are irreparable or immutable… and very few things that kill you instantly.
“What could I gain?” instead of “What could I miss?”
This change of perspective is seen as an approach to life rather than an avoidance of it.
“How could I try to make my life more interesting?”
Maybe you have doubts about your ability to learn a new language … but wouldn’t it be better to go to class, meet people, listen to the teacher’s interventions, even read textbooks and make your life a little more exciting in this way? The brain feeds on news and challenges. Don’t kill your mind with a boring routine.
“Could I try to make the people I care about happy?”
Let’s say you don’t like running. But wouldn’t your child be thrilled if you train to join him / her in his hobby? Wouldn’t your partner like you to take ballroom dancing lessons so you can dance together on a romantic evening?
Remember that when you are on your deathbed, no one will remember your periods of inactivity. People will have in mind what you have felt, the relationships you have cultivated, the risks you have taken, and the life you have really lived.
