Wanting To Say A Lot And Knowing That It Is Better Not To Say Anything
On no other subject, except love, has it been written so much as on words, because words and silence are always looking for a balance. A Chinese proverb says “do not open your lips if you are not sure that what you are about to say is more beautiful than silence”.
Almost everyone has happened to understand the precise moment when a conversation should have ended and, nevertheless, carry it on until, in the end, everything goes wrong. We want to say too many things without thinking about the consequences, without being aware that sometimes it would be better to keep quiet.
If before speaking we had in mind that when we communicate we make judgments and opinions that reveal the deepest traits of our personality, and that end up judging ourselves, we probably wouldn’t allow our language to run faster than our thoughts.
To say too much
Among friends, family and people we love it is normal not to pay too much attention to the way we speak, letting what we think come out. For this reason, even if it is trivial, it is said that “trusting is good, not trusting is better”. And so it is.
The words we speak to the people closest to us are sometimes sharper than any knife, build walls that are very difficult to break down and hurt the people we truly love and respect.
While the urge to speak is sometimes strong, it is important to weigh words, tell ourselves what we would like to say to another person, weigh the consequences of our opinions, and always resort to courtesy and kindness.
The art of knowing how to say with wisdom and respect
It is not a question of always being silent, hiding what one thinks, because we cannot forget that what is not made explicit through the word is as if it did not exist. The words we breathe, those that come out of our heart to reach another person’s, are of fundamental importance.
Speaking right, knowing how to listen, not speaking just to speak. Because talking too much, without thinking about what is being said and without control, can lead us to say nonsense or words that can harm the other person.
The importance of honesty
Harvard University scientists carried out a study on brain activity based on a series of tests in which the honesty of a group of people was analyzed. It has been found that honesty depends more on the absence of temptations than on active resistance to them.
In neuronal terms, according to the results of the study, it emerges that the brain activity of honest people does not change in the face of temptation (for example, earning money with shady means), while the brain activity of dishonest people is transformed in the face of temptation. even when they don’t give in to it.
The study was published in the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences and was led by Joshua Greene, a psychology professor at Harvard University’s Faculty of Arts and Sciences.
Greene explains that, according to these results, being honest does not depend on an effort of will, but rather on a natural predisposition to honesty. According to the researcher, this may not be the case in all situations, but it proved to be certain in the case studied.
The reasons that lead us to lie or tell the truth
On the other hand, researchers from the Autonomous University of Madrid and the University of Québec in Montreal have carried out an experiment aimed at knowing the reasons why people lie or tell the truth in front of a given situation.
Until now, it has always been thought that man is induced to tell the truth whenever he can take advantage of it, but that otherwise he is led to lie. Now, however, according to the study conducted, it has been found that people speak the truth even when it involves a material cost. The question then is: why?
Various hypotheses are developed on this issue. On the one hand, it is argued that people are sincere because they have internalized the concept of sincerity, and that otherwise they would experience negative emotions, such as guilt or shame – what are known as emotions closely related to lying. This version has to do with the natural aversion to creating a discrepancy between the person’s image of himself and how he really behaves.
Other reasons that lead us to be sincere have to do with altruism, consistency with what we think and what others expect us to say. In other words, the desire not to disappoint the other person’s expectations.
